i found out yesterday that my grandpa lost his car, and also got lost somewhere near st Louis. this isnt the first time hes gotten lost. it probably wont be the last unfortunately. he has Alzheimer's.
i never realized how hard it would be to deal with. I never realized how hard it would be to see him go through this. i never understood the seriousness of the disease. its so hard to watch someone i love deteriorate like this. he is the last person i ever would have expected this to happen to. hes always been so smart. hes used his brain a lot. hes always been active.
it makes me want to spend more time with him, but it also makes it harder to spend time with him. when were together, its so painful to see the signs of the disease and how its effecting him. you used to be able to see the frustration and determination in his features when he forgot something. now it seems more like sadness. almost like hes just giving up. its incredibly hard to see. and its hard to think about the fact that he is getting older. I have only lost one person i was really close to, and that was 10 years ago. it was one of the hardest things i remember. but i dont know how to deal with this. its hard to cope with this. i tend to automatically shy away from emotional pain. to shut down when around it. to ignore it. but this cant be ignored. i need to learn to deal with it and spend time with him while i still have the chance.
but God is truly watching over my grandpa.
on his way to wherever he was going, he stopped at a gas station and ran into his granddaughter (my cousin). they had dinner together. that gives us a good idea of what time he got lost.
a couple people called the police when they saw him wandering around the next day.
what made them call? I'm not sure. but im extremely grateful.
he wasnt mugged or anything
he actually got lost in a good area.
the police picked him up and he stayed in a hotel with their chaplin overnight.
ends up he was in a town that several people we know live in.
they were eventually able to find his car, when my aunt and uncle went to get him. im so glad hes ok. but all of these things...just lead me to see God is watching over him. listening to my prayers. answering my prayers.
at first i just didnt think about it. thought of it all as coincidence.
but when i did, it became so obvious to me why these things happened. it was all God. i need to learn to trust more, because this just makes it even more clear that He is ALWAYS there for me.
1 Thessalonians 5:17-18
17Pray without ceasing. 18In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
