Trust, yet again. and Judging.

I came to the conclusion a while back, that Basically, no one can be trusted. Human wise that is...because humans make mistakes. were not perfect, and pretty much EVERYONE will let you down at one point or another. But thats hard to move past...when someone breaks your trust, how are you supposed to get it back? how are you supposed to learn to trust them again? How much should you trust someone in the first place? if you know they're going to let you down, wouldn't it be easier to just not trust in the first place? But then, you would never have a good relationship, because in my opinion, Trust should be the foundation of a relationship. how else do you get close to someone? it cant happen without trust, because you would never tell them anything that really matters in your life. they would be a casual friend, nothing more. So I guess what it really comes down to, is that you have to choose who is worth taking the risk.

Theres so many topics I would like to teach people my experiences in. Maybe I should be a teacher, or a writer, or a counselor, or some kind of youth leader. I have yet to figure it out.

Another thing I have learned a lot about is judging. judging others is so easy to do. its a normal thing in society. not to me. your initial judgment, i have recently learned, is almost always wrong. You have to get to know people for who they really are. People judge me wrongly VERY often. and in the past, I've done it more times then I can count. but the past couple years I've been learning that you have to try really hard to not judge others, or believe everything everyone tells you about someone. I've learned, that if theres something I've heard about someone that really bugs me, then I need to go straight to them, and find out for myself if its true.


Leaving off with my favorite Psalm. this has helped me get through some really hard times.

Psalm 130

A song of ascents.

1 Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD;

2 O Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive
to my cry for mercy.

3 If you, O LORD, kept a record of sins,
O Lord, who could stand?

4 But with you there is forgiveness;
therefore you are feared.

5 I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.

6 My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.

7 O Israel, put your hope in the LORD,
for with the LORD is unfailing love
and with him is full redemption.

8 He himself will redeem Israel
from all their sins.

Trust

So another issue i seem to have is trust. I'm either too easy to trust someone, or I don't trust as easily as I should. I had a moment earlier tonight when i was thinking and I realized that I'm starting to trust people at bethel. I'm being less skeptical and guarded about everything. and then today, I just had this moment, where I thought, now that I'm letting that happen, what happens if we go through the same stuff we did at our old church? or similar stuff? it could so easily happen, and honestly, i don't think i could handle it very well. I'm still getting over what happened at my old church, and its been over a year. theres still constant reminders of what we went through, it still feels so unresolved. and its just hard to get over someone that you've trusted for your entire life breaking that trust.
anyways, that one moment just totally scared me...i so don't want to go through that again...i don't want to see my family go through that again. I'm happy right now, I'm getting involved. And its such a hard thing to go through. I'm trying really hard not to let this effect my experience at bethel. I want to have a home church again. It's just hard to learn to trust again.

James 1: 2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.