So another issue i seem to have is trust. I'm either too easy to trust someone, or I don't trust as easily as I should. I had a moment earlier tonight when i was thinking and I realized that I'm starting to trust people at bethel. I'm being less skeptical and guarded about everything. and then today, I just had this moment, where I thought, now that I'm letting that happen, what happens if we go through the same stuff we did at our old church? or similar stuff? it could so easily happen, and honestly, i don't think i could handle it very well. I'm still getting over what happened at my old church, and its been over a year. theres still constant reminders of what we went through, it still feels so unresolved. and its just hard to get over someone that you've trusted for your entire life breaking that trust.
anyways, that one moment just totally scared me...i so don't want to go through that again...i don't want to see my family go through that again. I'm happy right now, I'm getting involved. And its such a hard thing to go through. I'm trying really hard not to let this effect my experience at bethel. I want to have a home church again. It's just hard to learn to trust again.
James 1: 2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.
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