singlesness

one of the things God has been teaching me a lot lately is that I need to be patient with my singleness. I know I don't need a boyfriend to complete me, but every so often theres that longing for a relationship....But God has been reminding me that He is preparing me for whats to come, for my future husband. I need to be patient while God shapes me into the person I need to be for what lays ahead. Its hard to wait on Gods timing sometimes...it would be easier perhaps if he sent me a time frame of some sort, but God doesnt work that way. So I have been using this time to focus on what will always come first (or at least what should always come first) in my life, my relationship with Him. I need to be on the right track with God before I get into a relationship with someone. I need to be falling in love with God and putting Him first in my life.
It's good to finally be going in the right direction again. at least for now. Ive had many dry patches/ruts/lazy times/whatever you want to call them in my relationship with God and I know more are to come. but the most recent one was the longest ive ever been in-its been nearly 2 years since I've been in this good of a place in my relationship with Christ. and it feels amazing. Its changed my attitudes, the way I think about everything. I tend to filter my decisions and words through Christ more often now. But I'm also a total sinner, just like everyone else on this earth and I slip up often. I'm looking right now to work on my words...I've been trying to lift others up instead of putting them down. I find it extremely hard to not participate in gossip and slander sometimes...its one of my biggest struggles right now and I hate that it is. I always feel horrible as soon as im done. i need to be more careful with the words that come out of my mouth.

change and learning

God has been teaching me a ton of stuff lately. Patience. Trust. Forgiveness. Encouragement. I could go on all day really....But to elaborate...I have been learning a lot about having patience when it comes to my future. I don't know where I'm going in life, simply that I'm going to be doing God's work, and its not going to be a simple journey or a small task. I have had this feeling for probably a couple years now that God is going to have me do some huge project...something that some people may not think is possible but I'm up to it. I know its gonna test me and stretch me but I am beyond excited to see whats in store for me and all the good that will eventually come out of it. I'm not here to just live my life as a good person and then die...no, God has me here for something big and I know it, theres no avoiding it anymore. now the only question is what that is and how I am going to get there....I have several ideas floating around in my head, none of which came from myself but from hearing others stories. I'm waiting on God's timing in that, I know He will show me the way when its time.
But now I am also being challenged in patience cause I am getting restless where I am. I'm eager to get to school, to start my education. I'm eager to move out on my own and experience new things...But I know its not quiet time for that either. So for now things will stay the same, if only for a few months.
God has taught me how to trust again. With the whole situation at my old church, I had completely lost trust in church leadership and I didnt know how to trust them anymore. at any church. But through hearing the story of a person who I now have great respect for, I realized there are still people out there who can be trusted. God taught me that I'm gonna have to learn to trust Him to protect me from those people who cant be trusted. and when they hurt me, I know he will heal me, hes already proven that.
this may sound just like a whole lot of rambling...but thats whats been going on in my head lately. God has been teaching me so much
I'm finally back on the right track. my thoughts have been more christ centered, along with my actions. Im not saying I'm anywhere near perfect, because I'm not. I screw up all the time. But I'm learning to filter my decisions and actions and thoughts and words through Christ first. And I'm being reminded constantly of how important time with Him is.
I cant even say how blessed I am....really, another thing God has been teaching me lately is to appreciate the blessings which he has given me. I have amazing Godly parents who love me. I have a good relationship with all of my siblings, who are also amazing Godly people and have been great examples to me all along. i wouldnt be the person i am today if it werent for them. And one of the latest blessings God has given me-all of my friends at Bethel. I cannot even tell you what a difference theyve all made in my life. I know God used them all in my life to help heal me and bring me out of the slump i was in when i was still hurting. I'm truly happy again (or about as happy as we can be here on earth)
I've been constantly reminding myself that this time on earth is just a fraction of our lives....we have eternity in heaven, and only a limited number of days here. in comparison, what does this time matter? we need to do the best we can here in serving God, because thats our only purpose here. we arent here to be rich or succesful. we are here to serve and love God.