Matthew

Well school has started again, and though its been a rough start its going well now.
I was not able to get any classes with Purdue cal like I had been hoping, but I think that is because God wanted me to really be able to focus on my classes with Moody this semester.

I am currently reading in Matthew and I am absolutely loving it. I thought I would share some of the verses that have really stuck out to me so far.

Matthew 5:46-47 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing then others?

I just thought this was a really good reminder that we are commanded to love everyone as God loves them. God doesnt only love those who love Him. We need to go out of our ways to love those around us.


6:7-8 "And when you pray do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your father knows what you need before you ask him."

I've always been a bit uncomfortable praying in front of others, and sometimes just in general. I was always so afraid that I would sound like I didn't pray much because I didn't use all the fancy phrases that other people did, or that people would look down on my because I stumble over my words. That in itself I have found to be ridiculous, because I know those who are sincere in their faith arent going to look down on my just because I stumble over my words in prayer. But whats even more ridiculous was that I ever thought that God wouldn't hear me as well because of it. I see now how foolish it was to think that.
Romans 8:26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in out weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.
We don't need to make our prayers sound good, we just need to pray with a sincerity and faith and the Spirit will take care of the rest.

6:25-27, 32 Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more then food, and the body more then clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value then they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.

This is just a reminder that I need frequently. I worry too much about the little things in my life, I forget that God will take care of my needs, even the ones that seem small.

8:19-20 And a scribe came up and said to him, "Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go." And Jesus said to him, "foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head."

When we commit to following Jesus, we commit to going where we may not want to. We can't just expect to stay where we are and be comfortable, but we have to be prepared and wiling to follow wherever He leads us whenever He leads us.

This is just what Ive gotten from the first 8 chapters so far. I am amazed over and over by God's word and I am so grateful that I can go to school to learn more about Him and His word.

Life lately...

The past week God has really been preparing me for some big lessons. I didn't see it at the time, but last night it kinda all came together for me.

I was going through a bit of a rough time this past weekend, and through it I found myself seeking God more and learning more from him. I was grateful again for the rough times in my life, because thats when I feel God the most. Then in Tony's sermon Sunday he mentioned something about God teaching us in the good times as well as the bad. It really hit me then how I have been seeking God more in the rough times and that is why I feel closest to Him then. God teaches me just as much through good times, I just have a hard time looking to Him when everything else is going good,

which lead me to another point that Tony made. He said that if we are not in the scriptures and spending time in prayer it is most likely because of self sufficiency. Talk about hitting home.

I have been telling myself for a while now that I'm letting God take over, that I can't do this anymore, and sure I may let go for a couple minutes but the second anything starts to change I immediately try to seize control again. I'm not truly giving everything over to God, but rather I'm letting Him have it until I start to feel worried about it or feel like I know what I'm doing.

I have learned over and over, seen it displayed clearly in my life, that God knows much better for me then I think I know. Why I continually try to regain control when God does so much better with these things in my life, I don't fully understand. I think I need to feel in control sometimes.

Well over the weekend something happened that I was not prepared for and definitely did not have control over. I had been asking God to prepare me for it, had been telling myself that I gave the situation over to Him, but really I haven't. By losing control and seeing plainly that I had, I started to see the things that God had waiting for me that I had been blind to. I should have given up control a long time ago.

I tend to lose sight of God when things are going good. Everything in my life starts to fall into place (or so it seems) and I screw it all up by trying to take control again. Its like asking someone for help you get started with something you are having trouble with but they have experience in, and then as soon as they start it off you say "alright I think I got it from here, thanks a lot" most of the time, that ends with just making things worse then they were in the first place.

God has been trying to tell me so many things lately and all I have done is ignore Him stubbornly saying I can just do it myself. I don't know where I got that idea, as I look back its quiet obvious that anything good in my life has only come through God. If only I could remember all of these life lessons I have learned in the past I wouldnt be blogging about this right now, because I would have remembered learning it before. but I always forget, too quickly. I need to start focusing more.

Another thing I've been thinking about lately is one of the sermons I heard when I was counseling at SBR. The speaker(chuck) was directing his messages at the JR. highers, but they were packed with content, no sugar coating, and very blunt and to the point. I learned so much that week. The title of his first message was "you've got to think"
As soon as I heard that title my attention was on him. I had been feeling lately that the reason I wasn't learning much was because I wasn't allowing myself time to think and process what God was teaching me, what I was reading in the scriptures, hearing in sermons etc.
That wasn't the exact point that Chuck made, but he did touch on it some. He was more directing the message toward the fact that we really need to think about the consequences of our decisions and what we are making them based on. By combining those two points I was able to focus a lot more of my life and decisions on Christ and things started going well again, which is why I once again strayed.

Bottom line is, I need to stop being so self sufficient because I am a human and I am far from perfect and I am going to screw up over and over and over. I need to remember that God knows so much better then me what I need in my life. And lastly, I need to remember to learn in the good times.

I get frustrated by the attitude of some Christians. Don't get me wrong, i have been this way many times in the past, but I find it frustrating that we let stupid things come between us. We are supposed to be a body unified in Christ, we are supposed to love one another, and we are supposed to be quick to listen and slow to become angry. So why do we get offended when our brothers and sisters in Christ call us out on something? And why do we hold a grudge, for any amount of time, when they say something that may offend us, especially when they didn't mean it to offend us? I know we are human, and not perfect, but really thats no excuse. We need to be more open with each other, more honest, and not so easily angered. Why is it, that once we do get into some type of argument, we are afraid to tell the truth because we are afraid do offend someone further if they take it the wrong way? why do we let things go, just ignore them, because were afraid to bring them up again? why cant we just be honest with one another?
I think if we all as brothers and sisters in Christ were honest with each other, and not offended when someone calls us out on something out of love, that we would be a closer group and would do much better with encouraging each other in our walks with God.

this is all just a bit of rambling right now, I'm just trying to get my thoughts out. I'll probably be editing this later so it makes a bit more sense....

when I procrastinate, I think too much.

I don't really know whats going on in my life right now. I'm in such a weird mood. I feel like I'm just burned out on life in general right now. I want a change, something different. I want to actually feel like I'm moving forward in my life, which I don't right now. I feel like I'm in the same place I have been for a couple years now. Ive had the same job for the past year and a half or so, and even though I'm a "manager" now it doesn't feel that much different then when I started and I spend a good amount of time being bored. On the bright side, I don't typically dread going to work like I have with my other jobs, so it's at least a job I enjoy more. Kinda.
I think my issue is that I'm looking at life all wrong. I need to realize that life is already going right now, that I'm not guaranteed tomorrow on this earth. I have a job to do while I'm here and I so often forget that I don't have to be a college graduate with a house and a husband to do it. my goals are so different then what they should be. My top goals are to get married, graduate college, decide what I want to do with my life. My goals should be to reach others with the love of Christ, and just let the rest fall into place. I need to remember that when I follow Christ fully, he will work out the path for me. He will take care of all of it. Just goes to show that I waste a lot of time worrying about my future. Really, if i just had a little faith and a little trust I would have nothing to worried about. Whats the worst that can happen to me? I end up homeless on the streets? God can use me there. I die trying to spread the gospel? Awesome! That means I'm in my heavenly home, which is so much better then where I am now.
Why are we so afraid of death? Is it because this is the only life that we are familiar with? Because we aren't really sure exactly what comes next? I mean we have a vague idea, but it's only a very small portion of what it will really be like. So maybe, as Christians, our fear of death is really more a fear of what we don't fully know or understand. It makes sense to me. I'm afraid of the future, because I don't know exactly what I am going to be doing. But when I put things in perspective, it really makes my fears seem petty. What I should be fearing is that I won't reach as many people as possible before I do go home. What I should be afraid of is whether the people I come in contact with are going to Hell or not. Why are we not more consumed with worry and love for the souls of others? Yeah, my soul is saved, and so are the souls of my family, so why should I really worry about anything else? I'm all good right? No. That's such a wrong way to look at things but sometimes I think that's how we do. I want to be more concerned for others. I want to try harder to put others before myself. I am such a selfish being. I may say I want these things, but it's so difficult to actually live them out in my life. I give up easily. I give in easily. I'm ashamed of that fact most honestly. Why can't I push myself to try harder? Why can't I put a little more effort forward? I think it's partly because my priorities are all a mess. I really need to learn some self-discipline.

This is a video we were shown at the conference I just got back from. I thought it was interesting. Also, all of the audio for the sessions from the conference will be online pretty soon at givemeananswer.net.

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/70912/june-20-2006/bart-ehrman

L-O-V-E

So I've been thinking a lot about love lately. The greatest commands in the bible are about love, yet we hear them so often that we no longer take them seriously. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and love your neighbor as yourself. the reason loving God comes first, besides the obvious, is because we don't know how to love properly without Him. We love because Christ first loved. There are some people that are so freakin hard to love, but we are still commanded to love them. How impossible does that seem on our own? How hard would that be without Christ's ultimate example of love to look to for guiadance? The reason we hear this command so much is because it is so important! How can we forget what a big difference it makes when you love someone! What an example, what a testimony to your witness when you love the people who are hard to love. The smelly man who obviously hasn't showered in a while. The rude person who waited on you at the store. The arrogant business man that you have to wait on, who treats you like the scum of the earth. How shocked would they be if you loved them? Wouldnt people ask questions more? People would most certainley notice a difference between you and the rest of the world. We as christians, need to rebel against so much of what culture is pushing on us. more to come later.